Polished Draft - The Lowell Mill Girls: Truly Striking Women

The Lowell Mill Girls: Truly Striking Women

Here is my polished draft! :)
Sunderland-Polished Draft
5/24/2010 09:09:52

Looks pretty good. Some comments:

-Overall, very texty. I mean that in two ways. (1) Too much text. You need to shorten your bullets. Phrases rather than sentences (2) Not visual enough. You need to integrate more images that convey/reinforce ideas. Furthermore, images need captions to indicate significance of image.

-Each page should have it's own subtitle and topic sentence that explains the big idea for that page.

-Pattern of text,pic,text,pic,text is boring. Mix it up on layout a bit more. Use two column layout to create cells into which you can put images or text where you want.

-Make "previous" and "next" links more meaningful. "Back to..." and "Next to..."

-Thesis statment pretty good but get the theme words into it.

-You need something more visual on homepage. Show a picture of a Mill Girl for crying out loud.

-Reaction page blurb too long.

-2 Types of reactions on reaction page ought to link to each type of reaction's page.

-How'd you get formatting on annotated bib right?

-Overall title ought to be more meaningful than just topic.

-Need "Website Index" link on homepage linking to foawebsiteproject.weebly.com

Overall, lots of good stuff. 45/90


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    May 2010



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